Last year while sitting at my desk in the office, I had the worst kind of pain that got me thinking that I was losing my left leg. I dragged myself to the nearest medical centre and the physician was already diagnosing me with kidney stones. More tests were required for a full evaluation, and so I was given painkillers and was sent home. Tests were done three days later, which further led to a five months wait to perform a surgery that resulted in me being diagnosed with endometriosis. Surgery did not cure my condition because the surgeon did not have the expertise to treat me.
I have suffered from this condition since I was 14 and have only recently found out that it is a chronic illness. Throughout the years, my self-esteem, physical and mental health has been affected as I had to miss classes, birthdays, baptisms, holidays and weddings. The greatest impact was on work. In London, for example, I was fired for not showing up at work as I was curled up on my bed at home. It was only until I was given that diagnosis and underwent surgery that I started looking at ways to handle chronic pain and my career.
1. Acceptance
No matter how scary a chronic condition can be, it is useful to accept and not run away from it. This first step can be scary for many people. They might end up ignoring their diagnosis, which can lead to further problems.
I was in denial when I first learnt of the condition I have. I opted to carry on with work and relied heavily on painkillers whenever I had pain. It was only until my body became resistant to the painkillers that I started looking into what endometriosis really was and things I could do to manage and heal it.
2. Know Your Body
Learning about how the body functions creates an understanding of what it wants and does not want, and/or what it reacts to. Coping with chronic pain mentally starts at the moment you become aware of what your body needs. Proactively giving your body what it needs will make a huge difference.
I quickly came to learn that my diet was a big contributor towards the pain I had. I came to notice that I had flare ups whenever I had dairy and red meat, as they contribute to inflammation and extreme pain. I also started doing simple yoga and realised that my body muscles felt more relaxed, making the pain less extreme. Once you learn about what your body needs, you will begin to realise that there coping and treatment mechanisms that can ease pain and improve overall mental health.
3. Find a Community
It can be lonely to fight something by yourself and even more difficult trying to explain it to others who can not grasp what you are going through. Finding a community that understands and assures you that you are not alone leaves you with a sense of belonging. Luckily, there are plenty of communities with shared interests that can be easily accessed via social media. With time, you might also find yourself offering help and teaching others in need making you have a sense of purpose and belonging.
I found Nancy Nook, a Facebook group that I think everyone with endometriosis should join. On it, there is all the information you need to know as well as women going through similar issues as mine. I also found my current doctor, who is an expert on my condition and has been nothing but God-sent so far.
4. Be Kind to Yourself
It can be challenging to go to work or try and do normal things when you have flare-ups. This can also affect you mentally especially when you are unable to complete tasks. During these episodes, it is important to remember that you are trying your best and that it is not your fault.
I remember sitting at my desk in the office being angry at myself as my self-confidence depleted, as I struggled to force my body and brain to function amidst the pain. This made things worse and contributed to stress.
Being kind to yourself and acknowledging the pain as well as having positive perceptions have positive impacts. I always try to remind myself of who I am when there is no pain and that allows me to be kind to myself as I push through and wait for the pain to end.
5. Embrace Gratitude
Showing appreciation towards things that life offers you leads to a positive outlook in life. Being grateful for having a day without pain, for family, friends, a good meal and shelter can have a positive impact on handling and pulling through those flare-up days.
Many people find it helpful to write down things that they are thankful for. Keeping a journal like this one and reading it when you are feeling low can boost your confidence as it reminds you that things will be better.
6. It Is Okay to Say No
Chronic pain not only affects you physically but also socially. Feeling isolated from friends and family is common, especially when no one understands the pain you are experiencing, and that can be stressful. At the same time, isolating yourself from people because you feel like a burden and a bother when you have to cancel plans all the time due to pain can be challenging.
Your health is a priority and it is okay to say no to external pressures. Most people who care for you will understand. It is important to protect the little energy you have, and to do this, you must learn to say no and to also put up boundaries that will be lead to your productivity and good health as you divert from stressful energies.
7. Self-Care Is Important
Self-care means doing activities in order to take care of your emotional, mental and physical health. This includes getting enough sleep, a healthy balanced diet, meditation, exercise, spending time with loved ones, baking a cake and even running a bubble bath.
Other than changing my diet and a bit of exercise, I try as much as I can to sleep well. Through apps, I try to sleep and wake up at the same time everyday. This allows my brain to rest and also stabilizes my mood.
8. Distraction
I found that changing the monotony at work helped. I was lucky to be working for a relaxed organisation where using earphones were allowed. Listening to music while completing tasks distracted my mind from pain, negative thoughts and also made time to move faster than usual.
9. Activate Your Creativity
Expressing yourself creatively will have good impact on your mental health. Bringing out and using those hidden talents is not only fun but also allows you to be in touch with your emotions and can give you a sense of purpose.
Expressing yourself through writing, singing, drawing, dancing, sculpting, etc. can relax your mind and stabilize your moods and further reduce stress. I express myself through drawing, and even when I am down with pain, I always look forward to getting back at it. That leaves me with a feeling of wanting to recover in order to complete a piece that needs to be completed.
10. Fighter Mentality
Seeing yourself as a fighter is empowering and strengthening. Integrating this mentality prepares you for battling pain as you assemble all the tools you will need to fight and to have have a sense of determination that will leave you victorious.
11. Seek Medical Attention
Seeking medical treatment to manage pain is vital as it will help you cope both physically and mentally. I find relief and confidence in knowing that I have access to medication that helps to reduce pain.
Finding a good doctor that understands what you are going through and is willing to help and work with you to minimize and even eliminate pain in order to get your life back to normal is key. It will give you hope for the future.